Why I Drink.

"Show me a man who doesn’t drink and I’ll show you a man who knows exactly where he’s going in life—right down to the moment they stuff him in that ugly little hole in the ground. If you know exactly where you’re going and know exactly how you’re getting there then you are already there—in the hole. The shortest line between two points is a straight one, and I intend to put as many kinks in that line as humanly possible. And what better than alcohol to expose the grander map and lend the confidence to take those strange trips down side alleys sober eyes would never see. When we’re drunk we are no longer in the gray lockstep toward the prison of death—we are brilliant, resilient men who will assuredly find our fortunes, we will pluck them out of thin air because we are pure-hearted and willing to take chances. See, that’s the true beauty of alcohol. It feeds you the beautiful and shimmering dream, then has the grace to hammer you unconscious before you can realize it is all a monstrous and terrible lie.

Also, I like the taste."

—Frank Rich, Modern Drunkard Magazine